So, our first night in the dining room, 3 Malibuites desperate for a crispy tortilla filled with lobster, chicken or shrimp. We could taste the fresh salsas, hand made empanadas and Chile rellenos. I actually had put on long pants and a collared shirt for the event and if you know me, you know that I enjoy most of my leisure time in gym shorts and a self tailored t- shirt that has spots illustrating my last culinary concoction.

In order to get to the dining room we choose from the 5 on the premises, we had to stroll by the more casual of the choices, which was a splendid Mexican buffet complete with Mariachies. The food looked great but, since I had gone to the effort of putting on long pants and a clean shirt, we were going to be seated and served. We kept on walking in spite of the tantalizing aromas and charming tunes.

The entrance to the chosen dining room was spectacular. We knew we were in for a treat. Our taste buds were already in high gear. So, in we stroll to our elegant beach front resort dining room. My publicist had called in advance to make sure they knew that the “Chef to the Stars” will be dining and staying in their establishment and we were getting the A list treatment. There were so many “Senor Schwartz”s being uttered that I kept looking back to see if my father had joined us! We were seated at a prime table overlooking the beautiful Sea of Cortez and all psyched to the max. I, who rarely drink anything stronger that a cola or cappuccino, ordered a tequila shooter and a beer. Laurie, the party girl who gets giddy on a sip of vanilla extract ordered a glass of Cabernet. Watch out, Cabo, we are here to celebrate.

After downing my shooter in one gulp and chasing it down with half of my beer, I did not notice that French rolls and whipped butter had been placed on our table instead of freshly fried tortilla chips and an assortment of fresh salsas that we were expecting. Alexa dug right into the bread basket and my head was spinning so all seemed fine. Then the menus came. As I opened mine and strained to focus my eyes, Laurie was way ahead of me: “Continental cuisine from duck a la orange to scallops Provincal” she announced.

So here I am, “Mister never want to make a fuss or hurt anyone’s feelings” put in the position of having to inform our Maitre D that we were blowing this rat trap for the burrito buffet. “ But Senor Schwartz,” the man, obviously let down, pleaded, “we have many wonderful things in store for you!” He then explained that they had planned to create special courses made up of tastings from the entire menu. I just HATE being put in that position. Alexa could not have cared less where we ate as long as we let her have a soda to drink. In fact, she had already made a meal of the French rolls and whipped butter. But Laurie, well, her face told a different story. It had enchiladas and tamales written all over it! I, too, had a palate set for fajitas de camerones y langostas (shrimp and lobster fajitas). I chugged the rest of my beer, we all jumped up, they refused to charge us for the drinks (which made me feel even worse), and off we went.

My head was spinning by the time we were seated at the terrace table with the same view we had just left. I was not sure if I would be able to serve myself and Laurie was already giggling from her 3 sips of Cabernet. But then, the chef standing behind the “choose your own meat, fish or fowl for the fajitas” grill threw something on and the aroma of garlic, lobster and lime hit me all at once. In my business, that is enough to sober up. I leapt to my feet, gathered my girls, forgot about the feelings we had just crushed, and lead the way to the Mexican buffet. (That rhymes!)

After completely gorging ourselves and feeling no pain, we were three happy little campers with the moon and stars lighting our way back to the room. Sometimes, you just gotta do what you just gotta do!

Shrimp and Lobster Fajitas

1/2 pounds shrimp, peeled and deveined

2 lobster tails, cleaned, shelled and butterflied ( The person behind the seafood counter

will do that for you if you are really nice)

2 red bell peppers, seeded and julienned

2 bunches scallions, cleaned trimmed to about 6 or 7 inches in length

1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil

2 tablespoon soy sauce

juice from 3 limes

2 tablespoons minced fresh garlic

1 tablespoon fresh cracked pepper

12 warm corn or flour tortillas

guacamole for garnish

fresh salsa for garnish

sliced jalapenos for garnish

chopped fresh cilantro for garnish

sour cream for garnish

Marinate the shrimp, lobster, bell peppers and scallions in a mixture created by combining the oil, soy, lime juice, garlic and cracked pepper for up to 2 hours. Heat a grill to medium high. Arrange the items on the hot grill. Grill, turning once, until the shellfish is done and the onions tender, about 5 minutes total. Remove to a warm platter. Serve with warm tortillas and garnishes of choice. Serve 4.