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Ugly Shoes
What's the deal with today's ugly shoes? You see, I decided to SPLURGE this week and treat myself to a new pair of fall pumps. I haven't bought a new pair of shoes since the Nixon administration so I was clueless. That said, the selection process SHOULD have been an adventure...like a trip to "Baskin-Robbins". Wrong! I found myself harkening back to my youth, when our podiatrist told my mother I would have to wear orthopedic shoes. Of course, he might as well have "pronounced the end of the free world". It was a crisis of monumental proportions in my shallow, insulated high school arena. How could I possibly look "cool" in corrective shoes? ( Say good-bye to the swarms of pimple-faced adolescents who MIGHT HAVE found me irresistible.) The black-n-white saddle shoes resembling "naval gunboats" we wore with our cheerleading outfits were bad enough. I was the tallest girl on the squad; consequently, my shoes could easily house a family of squirrels. Never in my life has anyone suggested he drink champagne out of my shoes...I've never known anyone who could drink THAT MUCH CHAMPAGNE! I lived through the corrective-shoe phase of my youth but I'm certainly not voluntarily "going-there" again. George Washington's revolutionary troops wouldn't have worn these clunky, impractical shoes...and their feet were wrapped in rags (in the snow)! So, back to the great shoe-shopping debacle of 2000! When I couldn't find a single pair of shoes this week that didn't look like lady wrestler garb, I decided the "ug-shoes" might be just a "regional fad". After all, we live fairly close to Chicago. Some of the styles there are...dare I say it...unusual. (Why not be politically-correct for a change?) Several years ago every doctor you saw in the city "clunked-around" in backless Dr. Scholls. "Off-the-Charts-Ugly" shoes! I presume they choose their med schools more thoughtfully than their footwear. You could hear them "clump-clumping" down the halls of the hospital long before you actually saw them. I couldn't get used to the bedroom-slipper-look, but since most of us are slaves to fashion...luckily they "wouldn't be caught dead" in those pricey "scuffies" THIS season. As fashion footwear trends go...maybe they weren't so bad after all! What they ARE wearing this year looks positively menacing. Marquis De Sade "kick-butt"-lookin' combat boots! Guess I'm finally resigned to the inevitable; when in doubt -- drag out the cowboy boots! YEE-HAW!!! Look-out fashion world, here I come! |
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