Here's a typical day with Midwest-Rudesbies: I am awakened abruptly when a car speeds by out front --the stereo full-blast. Our bedroom windows are vibrating...threatening to shatter the glass any minute. I rationalize -- ho-hum, at least WE won't be buying their hearing-aids when they need them...and you KNOW they're going to need them! Then, we bundle-up to do some early Christmas shopping at the Mall. Several adolescents race by, shove me into a wall, and inadvertently douse the sleeve of my best leather jacket in pretzel-mustard! I rationalize -- it needed dry-cleaning anyway. (My fuse is getting shorter by now.) Then, a teenage girl cuts me off at the door, so engrossed in the telephone conversation on her cellphone, that she slams the door in my hand. Ouch! (Emily Post would be so proud.) Ok...so far I have turned the other cheek twice. You know what this means, don't you? I'm going to have to pull-down my jeans to turn a third cheek! I "shop-on"...trying to slough-it-off. I observe two 7 or 8-year-old boys in the process of testing [breaking] every toy they touch. Since when do mothers turn their children loose in a huge department store anyway? Hasn't anybody heard of child-napping? OK, ok...I DO know what a "generation gap" is -- that's where "I walked to school five miles in the freezing snow" and my grandkids have never walked anywhere ...ever. Boy, their "fingers sure can do some walking", though. On the phone -- all the time! With their own private line already!!! How is it pre-teens can afford cellphones anyway???

While I'm on the subject, have you noticed you always get invitations to weddings and graduations in a timely fashion? Note the check you enclosed in your card is dated the very next business day. Too bad the "Thank-You Card" is not as timely? -- What Thank-You Card??? Yeah, we never get one either!!!

My favorite Rudesby is the frantic shopper who literally grabs a sale item right out of my hands!!! Happens to me all the time. Over the years, I've come to accept there must be a NEON SIGN flashing on my forehead which reads: "Chump; Use & Abuse Me!" Other people can see it clearly, taking full and immediate advantage. Cut in front of me in the grocery line, cut-me-off in traffic, gossip during my favorite part of the movie, pull out of nowhere and grab the parking place where I've been patiently waiting for 5 minutes, or slide the "CLOSED FOR LUNCH" sign right in front of my nose at the Post Office. I've only been waiting 20 minutes. Yepper...that clerk must tip the scales at 250 lbs. Do I understand she wouldn't want to be late for a meal??? Well, I understand why there is gun-security at the post office......"rotund rudesby" !!!