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By:
Blaze

Mini Grinch

I believe in "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas". I know he exists and has awesome powers. Unable to be everywhere at once, he has millions of assistants who help him to "snarl-up" [literally] every technical aspect of Christmas. Let me give you an example: after the holidays are over, spouse and I put-away the lights and trim with great care, stopping just short of re-inserting the little white lights back into their plastic carriers. (Who puts those tiny lights in 350 slots in the first place?) I certainly hope it's done by machine. If not, there's one job I don't covet -- definitely NOT for the arthritically-challenged! Anyway, every December when we take out the lights, they are hopelessly tangled [again]. This is the obvious work of "The Light Grinch". He is one of "The Grinch's Associates". Apparently, he lives in our basement, having the entire year to make a bird's nest out of the lightstrands. I've never actually SEEN him wrapping the wires in a million knots, but his pesky presence in our home is quite evident. In the summer when I water our flowers,....he has somehow reconfigured the hose. I may have put it away in perfectly-sized loops resembling an Indian snake-charmer's basket...but the next time I water, the hose looks more like my "'50s beehive hair-do". Grrrrrrrrrgh!!!

My husband has witnessed this phenomenon many times, particularly when using his favorite orange outdoor extension cord. Miraculously, "The Grinch's Worker-Bees" have managed to replicate intricate crochet stitches with his wire. Even Martha Stewart couldn't do that! He calls "The Grinch" many names when this happens -- none of which are flattering or complimentary. Sometimes the legitimacy of "The Grinch's" parentage is even called into question. You get the general idea.

Extension cords! How is it 20 feet can become so knotted, especially when I distinctly recall neatly winding them up after use? Well, it's obviously the handiwork of "The Grinch's Aides". I suppose they get bored waiting for Christmas to come so they have to find something to occupy themselves. Quite resourceful, actually,...as if "the number" they do on our Christmas lights isn't enough! Speaking of that very area of expertise, have you ever noticed -- if the strand doesn't "light-up" when you first test it...it's always the VERY LAST LIGHT you adjust in the string which turns it back on? That's no accident...oh no, it's the fine work of "The Grinch's Guys". These fellas are good! They're kinda like Santa in a way -- no matter WHERE you move, they always find their way back to your house to resume their mischief-making. Trail of bread crumbs??? One thing for sure, I'm not setting out milk and cookies for THEM on Christmas Eve. If they're smart enough to foul-up every string of lights in the holiday box...I'm SURE they know how to open the refrigerator. In fact, I KNOW they do! That must be where the string-cheese disappears??? Ya think???